MY LOVE'S GONE

In the most basic form and in the simplest definitions, I loved him, he was never really mine...well, in the beginning, he felt like mine, he would touch me and I’d touch him, he made me feel things, he looked at me and I felt butterflies in my stomach, also in my ears, eyes, and nose, to be honest, he made me feel butterflies everywhere, I wanted him.. I think a part of me still does, yes- I know he was bad for me, of course, he was, I’m not stupid he hurt me really bad but some nights I wish he was here, holding me and kissing my neck, sometimes I wish I could hold him just one last time and then after that, I’d tell him to fuck off, I’d tell him he was the ever-growing scum of the earth but right now I miss my baby and he’s gone.

what's my obsession with unrequited love, why do I crave to love and to hardly receive any, why do I go for the ones who don't want to be got, I'm making a manifestation today, maybe my first of many, I'll love but only if you love me, I'll stay but only if you want me to, my love shouldn't have hurt me this bad but he did because I let him, he did bad things and I forgave him, I think I might hate him but I think it might be love.