Goodbye Anastasia

So long baby

You didn't realize when the void was opening

you didn't see the signs

and now you're gone from us

the twinkle in your eyes have disappeared

If everybody wanted you, why isn't anybody calling

What if I'm the one that needs fixing,

what happens if I'm the one that needs help,

Maybe I should reconsider my position

just for perspective sake

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let's say I have absolutely no clue what I'm doing

let's say time moves indefinitely

it holds all meaning and no meaning at all

let's say I'm winging it

and I'm finding myself in the process

….(for which purpose self-awareness serves I have no clue)

let's say consciousness feels weird, different, ambiguous

there's always something

and I don't understand why

what if all my decisions were based on my environment

and the ideas in my head...

I use hope to peak into the future

I'm finding new cravings

new reasons to stay alive

the sweet song of independence

the longing for more

the death of innocence

Growing up

searching for money

or is it happiness

or success

maybe it's freedom

that's probably the point

"what I'm trying to say is I'm not sure if I have a clue what I'm doing like I think I know and I have this "feeling" "intuition" that I'm headed for greater paths like I see a path I want to follow but I'm not sure...….."

But sincerely,

From the bottom of my undying heart

I just hope it all makes sense