DEPRESSED YET AGAIN

i think it's becoming obvious that my depression is directly related to my love life, today i scored so much worse that i thought i would in a self assessment test i took to practice for an exam i have coming up, i thought i had improved a lot but i just did 20% better than i did two months ago and i'm scared that i won't pass my exams and the negative thought i have of myself not being smart enough would be accurate.

i thought i was done with depression but i think i just got my heartbroken by a guy i met just twice, who in this world gets their heart broken by someone they met TWICE, to be fair it was the best two days i've had and i just thought we were starting something, i hate my unrealistic hopeless romantic self, ALWAYS falling in love with the idea, so now i'm sad yet again because alas i can't get the thought of a guy out of my head.

I am beginning to think i am way more sensitive than i think i am, sometimes i really wish i didn't make a big deal of everything but the truth is my emotions are one thing a have absolutely no control over, i wonder if i thrive off melancholy and the feeling of being sad.